The Roomboid House is widely recognized as the oldest manmade structure this side of the Continental Seam.
It’s been around for so long that the purpose behind its construction and the role it initially played in society is a huge mystery. The prominence of marble in its architecture and the huge columns out front lead some historians to believe that the Roomboid House was massively important and substantial, perhaps—and this is what large columns in front of Neoclassical mansions seem to dictate, historically—serving as a house for an entity of great political importance.
Nobody remembers when exactly they appeared, but at some indeterminate point, a shadowy organization was deployed in the house’s vicinity, seemingly interested in preventing trespassing at any and all (!) costs. Throughout their long deployment, the house’s mysterious guardians have come to expect a statistical figure of 3.32 daily trespassing attempts. In the past, these attempts have been perpetrated by mostly random wandering vagrants, spontaneously and without any sort of logic or premeditation. Lately, however, the attempts have begun to seem mysteriously more orchestrated and tactical, and the equipment and methods of the perpetrators has become gradually more expensive and advanced.
The thing is, nobody has any idea what’s actually inside of the house, and anyone who’s managed to actually enter in the past few decades has ever gotten a chance to exit… with the exception of a the enigmatic Mr. Chest, who was escorted from the grounds weeks ago in a sort of hypnotized stupor, only to return every few hours and sort of just lie around near the entryway, drunk off an unmarked bottle of something strong and acrid. The guards speak to no one, and anyone who asks Mr. Chest what he saw during his brief time in the house is met with nothing but incomprehensible babble and a whiff of probably the shittiest breath you could possibly imagine.
The government has spent decades searching for Mr. Pinj Roomboid (not a typo; this is the name listed on the house’s official archived deed of ownership) to no avail.
